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The meanest Daddy on Earth, and rugby is not “gay”

October 12, 2013

Two of my sons, Tayler and Tyler, have utterly atrocious grades. So, in order to get their attention I have imposed the most cruel and inhumane punishment known to eleven year olds: not torture, starvation, or beatings, but I have grounded them from electronic devices. Yes, that means no video games or television until their report cards improve.

Please pause for a moment to consider the utter horror of this monstrosity. Imagine, if you will, the absolutely open-mouthed shocked silence of my sons as they stared at me with vacant eyes, considering a WHOLE THREE MONTHS without video games or television. They still cannot imagine that I am truly serious. What in God’s name are they to do? As they told their grandmother, “Nana, can you even imagine growing up without video games?” (Yes, I can, actually. I did. “Whaaat?!”)

In order to demonstrate that it is indeed possible to survive without such devices, I took my sons to the park to play some touch rugby. This gave us an opportunity to discuss such issues as “Nobody in the whole world likes this dumb game. People play football.” (No, Joseph, lots more people in the world play rugby than football. In fact, there are whole regions of the planet that have never even heard of American football or seen a game. No, really, Joseph….) Also, “Rugby is gay.” (Son, rugby has the hardest hits in the world! They tackle like football, but with no pads. And it’s wrong to call things “gay”, son…)

We all had a great time, except Joseph. “This game is worse than voting for Obama!” Take it easy, son….

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3 Comments
  1. LOL YUP they asked me Nana what are we to do all day. Well kids ..”.there goes Nana guys”…..when I was a young girl we DIDN’T HAVE ANY ELECTRONICS. BARELY A BLACK AND WHITE TV. So we played board games, bicycles, roller skate, football, basketball, baseball, take a long walk, went to the park and had a picnic, read books, draw, color, paint.And because I had brothers I was a tomboy
    So I also climbed trees, played with frogs and caught blue bellied lizards. There how’s that list of what to do lol. They also asked Nana bet your mom never punished you like this. I said no because Nana ALWAYS DID MY CLASSWORK, HOMEWORK AND PROJECTS. AND IF I DID GET INTO TROUBLE I got a spanking or grounding. Love you more Nana

  2. Georgann permalink

    Thanks for telling it like it is, Lynn. My favorite activities were riding my bike, walking everywhere, reading, coloring, playing with my cats, and playing my violin. I was an only child in my foster home, so I got good at entertaining myself. We did not have a TV in our house. We did have a radio and a telephone on the wall. I tried hard at school. Music was a big part of my life outside of school.

    Maybe the boys will get interested in music again (or something else of value) if they are not constantly playing electronic games. This may be the best thing that happens to them all year. This is the kindest thing you could have done. I think it is great you took time to play at the park with them, too. Keep up the good work. Being a parent takes lots of effort and time on task.

    I am pleased to see you are getting support from the adult family members in the house to be the best father you can be.

    Love, Mom

  3. They need it!!! Thank you honey for taking them to the park and playing with them…. Good daddy!!

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