I save poor Tayler’s health
The school called today. My son Tayler, 11, had to come home. He said he felt dizzy. Apparently, the school is incapable of telling kids to go back to class. I presume they are scared of being sued. So, my poor, dizzy son got to come home early.
So, of course, to protect him from falling over from dizziness, I made him have strict bed rest. I mean, if he is too sick to sit in a desk at school, running around playing is way too dangerous. Oh, and no video games or television: those things make dizzy people dizzier. It was probably just a lack of good rest. And of course, I took his phone away. I wouldn’t want his poor girlfriend to become sick with worry about Tayler’s serious neurological condition. Then I asked my other boys if they had caught the same thing Tayler had: It could be highly contagious. Magically, they had been spared this malady.
I told Tayler I would be expecting him to make a miraculous recovery just in time for school tomorrow, or this would last through the weekend. His health is so important to me that everything else, friends, games, girlfriends, all of it, could wait until he was out of danger.
Oh, one last bit of info: when Sara got to the school, he was in a wheelchair. And they actually wheeled him out to the truck. When Sara mentioned that he could probably walk, they said that was their protocol. No doubt some lawyer told them they had to do that for liability purposes. What a crazy world we live in.