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Best court moment of the week

September 11, 2012

Question from DA: “How did you react when you were served with the subpoena?”

Witness, a big fat hillbilly with a long white beard, talking in a very slow drawl: “I was drunk.”

He claimed he never saw the burglary. When the defendant heard the charges being dropped, he celebrated by shouting and throwing his arms up like you would at a football game. Then, when he got taken into custody for violating his probation, he started yelling again.

Then his mother got up and started yelling at the judge at the top of her lungs, blaming “some girls” for all the thefts. The defendant, who had “True” on the knuckles of one hand and “Pride” on the other, among countless other tattoos, started yelling back at his grandmother to shut up. Then they started yelling at each other.

Who says there is no theater in Taft?


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