I just happened to see the bill one day and almost fell out of my chair. Once I figured out they were charging us, gulp, $86.00 per letter to take every letter to another attorney’s office, I offered to do it in high heels and a string bikini if she would give me the money instead.

Just kidding. But I don’t want to think about how much money got thrown down the drain between December and January until I just happened to read the bill from the service one day. You see, to my employees, my money is like Monopoly money or something: It’s not real. That’s why I need to be constantly aware of what is happening at all times.

But I digress. Now I deliver the envelopes for free. And without fail, I see tiny, cramped, cluttered little offices. They might have one receptionist for a couple of attorneys sharing a space, or none. I rarely see clients. It reminds me of how good I have it with a big office, big team, and always a place busy with customers. It reminds me how far I have come. I remember having offices like that once, too.

I read a pretty shocking article in the American Bar Association magazine on the current state of the employment opportunities for new law school graduates. Sixty-nine percent are employed in a job that requires a law degree. That means thirty one percent are asking people what size coffee they want at Starbucks. Many people interviewed in the article took out huge law school loans and now have no job waiting for them in the market. It’s so bad there is a new government program that lets poor lawyers who can’t pay their student loans make minimum payments for years then write off the rest. Wow. Like subsidizing lawyers. Why?  Who knows what the logic is behind that? But it makes me glad I have a job in the legal profession, and a good one at that.

It is easy to forget that people are struggling to make it everywhere. Here is a good article on how, even in Hollywood, people are losing their homes. It’s shocking, but true.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/23/opinion/foreclosure-story-untold-in-hollywood.html

Eh, I give myself props for doing anything. I am really sore after “Quickie”, and it took a lot of willpower to force myself to do anything. My goal this month was 14 workouts. I have done ten so far, with eight days left in the month. If I can squeeze out four more workouts, I will be meeting my goal.

Boy, did I regret this one about half way through. It was way, way tougher than it sounds. I had to, just had to, sit down and take some breaks during this one. My heart was exploding out of my chest and my legs were on fire. It took me 20:23 to do the whole routine.

It is a total of 105 burpees and air squats. It was just murder.

Today I did a job interview for a paralegal position. We had just filled the position the day before, but who knows? Business is growing, people don’t work out, and hey, if someone is really special, maybe we could find room for them now. I was interviewing someone who was a very strong candidate. I was in the middle of trying to explain that the opening she was interviewing for had been filled, but…and she snapped at me in anger. She ultimately stormed out, ignoring my proffered handshake. You would think getting mad at the guy interviewing you for the position would be an obvious mistake that a job candidate would avoid. I mean, the interview was free, the candidate was local (it’s not like she drove accross the country to see me) and I was trying to explain that we might have an opportunity for her. I mean, heck, the interview was a just a few minutes long. You can’t keep it together for five minutes without a tantrum? Why would I hire you?

Strangely, this is the third time I can remember it happening. One lady came in and said the immortal first words, “Well, first off, I don’t think you can afford me!” This is when I was in a 10,000 square foot office, with 30 employees, mind you. And she was interviewing for a paralegal position. Craziness.

One time I asked a candidate for an attorney position why he had about thirty different employers in two years, and he practically bit my head off. He just screamed, “You saw my resume before I came up here! Why did you ask me for an interview if you weren’t interested?” Out of all the different ways that question could have been answered (“I was trying to find the perfect job.” or “I like to travel.” or “I was on drugs and now I’m sober.”) I have to admit I was not expecting that one.

Folks, I get to make the decisions around here. If you act a fool during the job interview, the only way I could be an even bigger idiot would be to ignore it and hire you. It’s kind of like American Idol. There’s lots of you and only one of me. And if you walk away without the job, trust me, someone else will fill it.

And then right after she left, I hear that there is a woman in the lobby who insists that she knows me and we went to high school together. She comes in and she is a complete stranger. I have no clue. She reminds me we “did business in high school together.” Um, what?

She proceeds to let me know that NASA can read her heartbeat from the satellites. Oh, and Tim, I do know Tim, right? He has the police all in on it. They can read her thoughts. And the million dollar check? The Soviets won’t let her receive it.

I had to excuse myself. I would still be there listening to her rant. I left her for my staff to deal with.

The ride out there is through pasture, oilfields, and farmland. It is very picturesque. It was a nice crisp day in early spring. Tyler and I are both very quiet people. We shot, reloaded, and shot again. It was a beautiful day in Kern County for a father and son to bond.

I was recognized by all the employees out there. As we were leaving one of them ran after us to say he never liked my billboard on the way to Delano because I looked “high”, and “that isn’t a good thing for a lawyer.” Gee, you got a lot out of that one second glimpse of my picture from 200 meters away at 75 miles an hour. Note to self: Try not to look high, I guess. I refrained from saying anything with the word “idiot” in it. I also didn’t ask what kind of advertisements it would be appropriate to look high in.

I did, for the first time ever, a one-handed power snatch from the ground with my right hand, successfully. A new PR! Does this mean I am actually getting stronger? I couldn’t do it left handed, though.

I finished up with two sets of five reps of one handed power cleans, each arm. It doesn’t get more primal than picking heavy stuff up off the floor to shoulder height.

I tried to do things with the kids that nobody else does. I gave them a couple of puppet shows, starring Bob the Stuffed Bear. I did a magic show with a wipe rag. I showed my stunned babies how many different ways the same rag could appear: Unfolded, folded in half, crumpled up. They can’t believe how the rag can be manipulated to appear so differently, yet be the same.

I also read to them extensively from “Zahra’s Paradise”, a “graphic novel”. It was good the kids couldn’t understand it, because it is a very serious story about repression in Iran. It makes you really glad to be living in the United States, believe me. One of the stories is about some horrible things that happen to a guy for some stuff he wrote on an online blog. Gulp. It is a really good book, but just be aware that there is no comedy in this “comic book”. It is more horror than comedy.

Tonight Michelle made a feast fit for a king. We had about six courses, all of them Asian. The highlight of the meal for the kids: Barbecued frog legs. No kidding.

It was really a pleasure spending a day with the kids. They are such cuddly, cute, fun babies. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these photos, courtesy of their mom.